Feelings & the cold truth: EP 3

Nigeria- A developing country with a tremendous young workforce. The country has a lot of potentials, most especially the young men. On many occasions, we hear of ladies broke shaming young men. I’ve been wanting to hammer on this topic for a very long time now, I’m glad I’ve the chance today. Born as a male in Nigeria, you’re already in a stress filled world- Society looks up to you, family brings their own expectations, unfortunately, even the slightest source of happiness from the opposite sex comes with a lot of baggage most times.

It’s as if once you’re born a male, you’re expected to be as hard as diamond. Everyone expects you to take hits without getting wounded, suppress all negative feelings without feeling down. I have seen situations where a lot of people would rather help the ladies than the guys because they feel guys shouldn’t be in any way shown sympathy. All these are enough to run a man mad. It hurts to see a lot of ladies take the advantage in exploiting, scheming and even going far as broke shaming. It is very wrong to broke shame a guy.
Before I started compiling my points for this content, I got a lot of shocking comments about dates with guys and roles we play. I’m not here to judge but let me be a hunnid with you, There is no crime in a lady paying the bills or taking financial responsibility. The problem is when you feel you are not meant to do anything and the whole load goes to the guy. Some girls would say: “He is the one that likes me, so it is his responsibility to always call me, text me, pay for everything and send me money.” Nothing is wrong with a guy doing all that but have you also thought about his financial stability? It shouldn’t always be about he should but can he?
We’ve got feelings too, the last thing we want is a lady nagging, putting more pressure on us or expecting a lavish lifestyle when we can hardly get out of the pressures around us. If a guy really likes you, he’ll naturally care. It is not even about being rich, he can go an extra length to get you a lot of nice things. It doesn’t mean it is his duty, it is just a way of showing he cares which can of course, be reciprocated.
One thing that has indulged this mindset in many ladies is the belief that a guy of the same age that is interested in her should automatically be a big spender. Many have been with guys that make lots of cash through illegal means and automatically expect that from every guy. It’s wrong. Never belittle a guy for whatever reason- Whether he is not the guy you perceived him to be or he is not meeting up to your expectations, it would be best you leave him alone and look for what suits you. Please, don’t even think of broke shaming a guy. He may actually be trying something big, he may still be trying to figure out what life has in store for him or whatever the case may be, respect that! It is okay if a guy is not your taste or you’re not just feeling him, but it is totally way out of line to judge him based on his financial status.